Pat “unnecessary…pause” Kenny is on Ireland’s FRONTLINE! His hard-hitting, street-talking team get to the heart of Irish politics in true RTE style. They go round Dublin 4, canvassing with John Gormley. Amongst the fascinating topics covered; the Green Party’s decision to have rounded corners on their posters, because, and I quote, “they’re less likely to take someone’s eye out”. My favourite exchange of the “experience” takes place when Gormley is canvassing a younger, non-voter however…
“Are you old enough to vote?”
“Nearly, I’m 17 loike”
“And who would you vote for if you could?”
“Mannix Flynn. Defo.”
“And why would that be?”
“Well, loike, he’s, you know, a good lad and stuff…”
At least the apathy of my generation is subsiding as we move to the next…Speaking of Ross O’ Carroll Kelly however, his move to the Irish Times Magazine appears to have rendered his Tiger’s Roar into more of a Cat’s Meow. Paul Howard’s caricature of a South Dublin Fianna Fail-er has been fairly tame by his previous political standards and it feels like a missed opportunity for ridicule.
Missed opportunities are becoming the theme of this election campaign though. It’s been relatively poor in terms of controversy and consists mainly of politicians repeatedly saying the word “policy” without ever giving detail as to what it actually is. Joan Burton is doing her best to stir up some fun but in fairness, Vincent Browne is hardly a worthy target. He has all the self-defense of a dartboard. That aside, the possibility of having the first single party government since 1977 looms closer. The Greens have pretty much conceded to re-taking their well-worn opposition seats back. Their biggest mistake seems to have been “trying too hard”. Sinn Fein, the rascals, are debating issues that exist solely in their own minds. Gerry Adams had a great moment only yesterday in fact. He got a little (more) confused and spat out:
“I firmly believe that I can be voted President next week. I mean, Taoiseach, next week…”
I, for one, am all for the idea of President Gerry, as long as he’s not President of anything remotely related to Ireland.
So it’s all decided then. By the week’s end we will have: Fine Gael in power, maybe with Labour in tow, Mannix Flynn will have somehow lowered the voting age to 17, Pat Kenny will continue to speak…..using…unnatural pauses in a vain attempt to sound more intelligent and Colin Firth will win the “Least Offensive Male” Oscar. Which is just like the race for Taoiseach unfortunately…
Now where would we find a more exciting Head of State………
