For International Workers’ Day, a look at workplace frustration with Dylan Harris. Readers may also detect echoes of Our Current Economic Situation™
armchair firefighting
RIP Mr. Pitkin & Mr. Grimsdale
(i)
burning down
let’s meet to stop the burning down
the house the burning down
we made the burning down
let’s meet to stop the burning down
50 firefighters listen 3
discussing water pressure leaks
armchair firefighting
urgency
no time
meet
to spend time
to make time
to find time
urgency
no time
don’t keep the petrol by the boiler
i recall we said before
armchair firefighting
armchair firefighting
but i did not shoot the deputy
electro–straw is just the stuff
we need for sturdy walls
the brochure says it here
50 firefighters listen 3
discuss the art of flame
armchair firefighting
armchair firefighting
but i did not shoot the deputy
(either)
(ii)
hey look down
hundreds pointing up
there’s so much smoke
make it go away
Stop Gawping
We’ve Got To Start This Meeting
Think How To Fight The Fire
they’re a very funny bunch
all shirts & pointing up
hey rogers from the 7th
just fell past rather fast
Stop Gawping
We’ve Got To Start This Meeting
Think How To Fight The Fire
pretty red & blue flashing
eeek it’s the police
hey what’s that horrid noise
i can’t hear i just can’t hear
Stop Gawping
We’ve Got To Start This Meeting
Think How To Fight The Fire
i’m feeling heat I’ve got a bug
i’m going home to bed
i’m hearing cracks i’m hearing roars
i’m off to find a therapist
Stop Gawping
We’ve Got To Start This Meeting
Think How To Fight The Fire
(iii)
hey lads
this is what you do
we’ve thought it through
discussed for days
point water at the fire
throw a stick shout out fetch
water rushes over
fire runs away
look there’s the empire state
see that it’s ablaze
here’s a bowl there’s the sea
soon you’ll have it out
(iv)
no no no
don’t understand the problem
we need a solution
get it done
don’t waste time
trying to work out
a way it could work
just get it done
i never understood
why these guys
want to do the job
as well as they can do
we’ve always had to stop ’em
it’s not as if
we don’t have enough problems
as it is
(v)
hey
here’s a meeting must go instruct
contribution none got give none
hear a voice hear itself
hear a voice hear itself
the gain
more time used not get so far
buy mosquito spray
hiss in the armpits
rush down the doctor
more productive
all must to listen
individual conversation sequence
they don’t converse
they don’t take part
armchair firefighting
(vi)
all these meetings
bad results
we must have more
to work out how
to make the meetings
better
(vii)
zzzzzzzzzzzz
hrmph brrrggh
eh?
pork banquet?!
awk aaaiiiii gmpt
ssssssssssss
(viii)
the sixty metre
invisible
efficiency kangaroo
bounces to the burns
the builded burns
deep within the shadowed ruins
the black and burnt soot and ash
the char and black roasted meeters
the char and black roasted meeting room
he knew
to be more effective
‘put out a bigger
sixty metre
invisible
efficiency kangaroo
pocket snack’
the sixty metre
invisible
efficiency kangaroo
pokes inside the broken walls
nibbles at the broken floor
on sixty metre
invisible
efficiency kangaroo
packet sacrifices
hops off
stops
and proudly sighs
“that was an efficient fire”
(ix)
i’m so important
i’ll have you meet
i’ll have you wait
so much pressure
i’m so important
you have to know
i’ve so much pressure
there’s so much late
i’m so important
you have to wait
you have to know
there’s so much pressure
we’re so late
you have to wait
to see
to know
i’m so important
so much pressure
(x)
hey
we need water to cure the fire
water in the hose
Only We Can Turn The Tap
ok then please turn the tap
then please turn the tap
please turn the tap
Why Haven’t You Put Out The Fire?
Only We Can Turn The Tap
turn the tap
the tap
tap
Why Haven’t You Put Out The Fire?
Only We Can Turn The Tap
burnt
burnt down
every burnt down
every burnt no water
Why Didn’t You Put Out The Fire?
hey
we needed water to cure the fire
water in the hose
Why Didn’t You Put Out The Fire?
you did not
turn the tap
the tap
the tap
turn the tap
why did you not
turn
turn
turn the
turn the tap
That Was Your Responsibility
We Made It Very Clear
Why Didn’t You Put Out The Fire?
(xi)
the make for me needs goo
you’re the boss
you have to get the goo in place
authority is yours
you ask me why the work is late
you’re the boss
the make for me needs goo
authority is yours
you ask me why the work is late
i’ve asked for goo
the make for me needs goo
you’re the why the work is late
you ask me why the work is late
i’ve asked for goo
you’ve not produced
you’re the why the work is late
you ask me why the work is late
i’ve asked for goo
the make for me needs goo
you’re the why the work is late
the make for me needs goo
you’re the boss
you have to get the goo in place
authority is yours
(xii)
You must stop being so
publically critical
of the company
that employees you.
Your job is not
to attempt
to lower morale
of staff.
We will to discuss
the ‘Colditz’ and
‘incarcerated’ comments
and similar comments
when you are back.